Blogging English 2

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Svjetlana's feedback on E-tivity 9

Hi collegues!
I cleaned up my wiki: "Language learning". The main changes I’ve done are all about the structure, that is to say the lay-out of the article (internal links, words in bold, paragraphing). I’ve also added some new references that I forgot the first time.

Now I am going to give some impressions on my collegues’ wikis.

1) Marco, MariaChiara and Alice:
I find changes on the lay-out very effective. The article seams more organized in this new way. But, as we have already pointed out in class, the second part of they article is a repetition of the first and theoretical one. So they should try to improve the second part and find a new solution to avoid this repetition. Perhaps it could be useful to add examples of other theorists, schools or universities.
Another advice is to add a new paragraph, entitled LINK, before REFERENCES, were to put direct links, instead of having a list with the repetition of “See...” (I noticed that in many pages they do in this way).

2) Giorgia and Barbara:
I think that their corrections are excellent. With this new layout the article capture the attention of the reader, definitely more than before. And I think that it is a plus the fact that the article now is briefer.
The only advice that I can give to them is to stress the distinction between the two parts of the article: they can put the two subtitiles in bold or as second heading (Teachers’ approach and Students’ approach). In my opinion it is not so evident if one looks without paing too much attention.

3) Francesca, Lucrezia and Annalisa:
Their article is interesting but it seems separated from the rest of the page, as regards the structure and some contents.

First of all, they put the article after “Links and References” and after their article they put their own links and references. In my opinion this is some kind of division from the rest of the article. They should integrate they links and references to those that were already there and put the article before Links and References.
As we pointed out in class last week, there are also some repetitions, that is to say that some of their sentences says same things as those said in other paragraphs of the article. Therefore they should integrate their ideas with that of articles that already exsists. Even though it is not so easy!!!
Other advise is to put some words in bold and create some paragraphs. It makes the reading more easier.

This is all. These are not critics, but advices. I hope you don’t mind...
I think that our works are very good. There are things to improve, but we all wrote interesting articles. ;-)
Buy, buy.


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